Science! Here’s a Huge List of Things Causing Sudden Adult Death Syndrome

There’s been a huge explosion of people dying from a new affliction they’re calling “Sudden Adult Death Syndrome” or SADS. This is a syndrome for which there is no known cause, the health experts tell us. Young and otherwise healthy people are suddenly dying in their sleep when their heart stops. No reason. It’s just happening.

Never mind the fact that none of us ever noticed this happening prior to about April of 2021, after the COVID shots were rolled out. Deaths from “suddenly” were always here, but we just never noticed before because we’re not scientists like the important science people. The good news is that SCIENCE! is starting to uncover some of the reasons why people are dying from “suddenly.”

Frankly, it’s starting to get a little bit out of hand with all the new discoveries about death from nothing in particular. Remember how we all used to laugh about those articles declaring lists of things that had been racist all along, but we never noticed because we weren’t woke enough? Racist stuff would include snow, white socks, mashed potatoes, speaking in complete sentences and showing up for work on time.

 

Here’s a look at some of the latest research and mainstream media coverage on potential causes of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome:

Gardening: It used to be considered healthy to get some fresh air and sunshine while gardening. Not anymore. SCIENCE! says that previously unknown pollutants in dirt can cause your heart to stop suddenly. That’s obviously why none of our ancestors ever did anything that involved dirt or working around dirt.

Sweating at night: You might think that sweating at night is just something that happens in the summer when you can no longer afford to turn the A/C on thanks to the Putin Price Hike. Wrong! It could mean you’re about to die from “suddenly.”

High Energy Bills: Speaking of stuff that’s all Putin’s fault! A doctor in Britain says the huge price spike in electricity and gas is likely going to cause lots of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome deaths. No word yet on how gasoline prices are going to affect SADS rates.

Snoring: Duh!

Watching Television: Scientists have discovered that people who watch more than four hours of television per day have an increased risk of heart disease and dying from SADS. Wait, this is new info? I thought we already knew that sitting around watching the idiot box all day long made you fat and increased heart disease risks.

Falling Asleep with the TV On: Okay, I might be in trouble with this one. TV shows these days are so insufferably woke and boring that I can’t remember the last time I was able to stay awake until the end of an episode.

A Newly Discovered Secret Chemical in the Atmosphere: Now they’re just messing with us. Scientists say they have discovered a new “extremely reactive substance” in the atmosphere called hydrotrioxides, which cause heart disease AND global warming. Damn you, hydrotrioxides!

Flight Delays: It turns out that waiting around for hours in an airport, eating airport food, and getting drunk while waiting for your flight that’s delayed because so many pilots have been grounded with heart disease is bad for your health.

Daylight Savings Time: I know, right?

Being Tall: No word on whether being handsome is also a correlating factor.

“Redlining” during the Franklin Delano Roosevelt Administration: Scientists say blacks in America are stressed out by Jim Crow laws that allowed redlining of neighborhoods back in the 1930s and ‘40s, so they’re dying from Sudden Adult Death Syndrome now. It’s like a double whammy of systemic racism and SADS.

All of these were in published, peer-reviewed journals in the past month and each of those things has been covered by the mainstream media. It makes sense that researchers would want to find out what’s causing a massive spike in young and healthy people whose hearts are suddenly stopping in their sleep.

But in all these studies of gardening, secret atmospheric vapors, snoring and FDR’s redlining, scientists seem to be overlooking one of the potential causes of sudden death. And everyone seems to be afraid to check the correlation between that one overlooked thing and all these deaths.


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15 thoughts on “Science! Here’s a Huge List of Things Causing Sudden Adult Death Syndrome”

  1. I might believe what your saying about sudden death but when you lie about Putins price hike when the real reason is Biden’s poor judgments of shutting down our oil while trying to buy dirty oil from other countries. So tell the truth if you want people to believe you!!!

      1. HILARIOUS!! I love this article because it shows how far out-to-lunch the radical left has become! You do realize these examples came from a Democrat brain?!
        Do you actually think they “researched” these areas of SADS? NOPE! Research is not in their vocabulary…ever! How do you think Biddyboy Biden got elected???

  2. We were warned before those jabs started that deaths would start happening about 8+ months after getting the jab. That was the entire purpose of telling everyone to get the COVID fake jabs. They want to depopulate the world and this was their first step.

    And Biden is the reason behind the high gas prices, not Putin. He shut down the Keystone XL Pipeline his first day in the stolen white house, which cost over 70,000 people to loose their jobs. Biden is a traitor and needs to be arrested immediately and charged with treason. Off to prison for him and the rest of those involved with the stolen election of 2020.

  3. This is not good news. Science is not uncovering and telling us the real reasons why people are drying ‘suddenly’. We all know it is from the COVID jabs, which are not real vaccines, they are gene altering therapy shots that will and do kill people. The embalmers are finding white stringy stuff in the veins and arties of dead people, which should not and never had been there before. And by the way healthy 5 year old don’t die from a heart attack, which is happening.

  4. Don’t forget climate change. I do not believe anything the government says. They r all evil. Just control us by fear. This new virus caused in Wuhan lab monkey pox is also B S. Want to shut down country before elections and have mail in ballets so they can steal the election from trump. They think we r all stupid.

  5. I don’t for one minute believe any of this. If that is the case a lot more people would be dying. I sure would have been dead long ago if I really believed any of these so-called facts!

  6. I buried my brother(or you yours) last week murdered by the vile democrats manufactured bioweapon known as Covid….Gain of Function research funded by democrats then discontinued for optic purpose because of dangers of that type of research only to be continued in Obama era by fauci and a bio lab Eco Health alliance research center funding it! How many more have to die… democrats do not care if your rep/dem vaxxed/unvaxxed they are after all of us whether you comply with their way of life they have planned for you or not. I buried my Brother last week …..Don’t let the next be yours…Stop the democrats! Vote them all out from office for life as they done to my brother’s life… for life!

  7. So True. Unfortunately he can buy his way out of prison which is the normal for the Oligarchs in and around the Whitehouse!

  8. SO-0 SORRY that more of us are not getting to the truth. Blame the CEO’s and GOV’s that went along with this Bio-weapon for politics. KARMA is coming; keep talkin, not being silent is our weapon. NO one one child-bearing age should get the JAB, especially NOT children. The body can “never “expel the graphite oxide particles. IT is DepopUlation folks.

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