Late last week Democrats stopped being nice to Joe Biden and asking him politely to drop out of the race. They had spent months bringing it up to him casually over dinner and reminding him that spending time with his grandkids was much more enjoyable than living in the silly old White House. Come on Grandpa Joe!
After Biden wouldn’t take the hint they started getting nasty to him. Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer not only called Joe and demanded he leave the race, but they started targeting Jill and Hunter. Most of the stories last week about Hunter and Jill sitting in on White House meetings and helping Joe make decisions behind the scenes came from Pelosi and Schumer’s camps. They proved they would say and do anything to get Joe to drop out, including planting embarrassing stories about the President’s family members. Behind the scenes Nancy Pelosi can be a real b.
But it worked.
Pelosi’s hard line talk finally made some in roads with the Bidens after he caught Covid for the third time. Even though he practically ran from his own party last Thursday back to his home in Delaware, Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer didn’t let him off the hook. Biden spent much of the weekend being forced to take their calls.
Late on Sunday, President Joe Biden announced he was officially stepping down from the race.
We’re going to go ahead and give Democrats some free advice when picking their replacement for Biden next month, since we’re guessing they’re not reading this anyway. This is the exact same advice that we gave to Ron DeSantis more than a year ago, which he didn’t listen to:
Stay out of this race completely and run in 2028.
You’re just going to clobber yourself if you try to jump in at a brokered convention. Kamala Harris is the first Indian…Black…Canadian…(She keeps changing how she identifies based on who she’s talking to so its hard to keep up with what to call her) woman vice president.
Anyways, all the other possible contenders who could challenge her for the nomination are white. Kamala has more diversity Pokémon points than the rest of them. She also has a pretty nasty chip on her shoulder about it. If any white person tries to challenge her, we are going to be treated to the most viciously racist struggle session in American history.
Everybody hates Kamala Harris. Therefore, the best possible strategy is all the other candidates to stand aside, let Trump crush her in November, and then say, “Gosh! I could have done better than that! And I will when I run in 2028!”
Let Kamala take the fall to Trump and save your own credibility. Kamala’s used to taking one for the team anyway.
They’re not listening, are they?
Now, Democrats are facing a brokered convention. The question is, which Democrat will jump in and challenge Kamala.
Hillary Clinton is almost a sure thing. She and Kamala are not friendly and she probably can’t bear the thought of Kamala being the first woman president. She has a gigantic ego after having the media tell her that she should be president for more than 30 years. Who wouldn’t?
California Governor Gavin Newsom, who once dated a teenager when he was almost in his 40s, is also a sure thing. The man lusts for the presidency to a level that is indecent. If he could, he’d lure the presidency into his panel van with some candy and pictures of his lost puppy right now.
If you think inflation is bad now, just imagine what your future would look like with Gavin Newsom in the White House. I can already tell you since I have the misfortune to live in California. It costs $21 for a Subway sandwich in California because of Gavin Newsom. Subway! It’s lunchmeat and some veggies on bread. And it costs $21 without chips or a drink because of Newsom’s insane minimum wage policies. That’s what all of America can look forward to if, Heaven help us, Gavin Newsom ever ends up as president.
Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker, who hasn’t been able to see his own feet since the 1990s, has also been throwing out feelers. He’s one of the worst—if not THE worst—gun-grabbers in the country. Just look at the violence in Chicago on any given weekend to get a sense of how he operates as a leader.
Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer—good ol’ crazy eyes Whitmer! She’ll definitely try to throw her hat in the ring. Remember the time when she banned the sale of paint to stop COVID from spreading? Good times. That’s the kind of dictator…I mean president she longs to be. She also has extensive experience working with the FBI to frame Trump supporters, so there’s that.
Anybody else? Maybe Josh Shapiro, the governor of Pennsylvania. He doesn’t have much name recognition nationally. They’d only nominate him because he’s Jewish and as we saw at the RNC, Democrats are bleeding Jewish voters because of their support for Palestine over our ally Israel.
Whoever it ends up being, it’s going to be a sacrificial lamb year for the Democrats. The sight of Donald Trump’s courage after being shot in the face last weekend has seen to that.
