CNN did a fabulous report last weekend on how evil mastermind Vladimir Putin of Russia is once again meddling in our election. I learned a lot! Initially, intelligence agencies ran to Rep. Adam Schiff’s (D-CA) staff on the Intelligence Committee to let him know that Russia is helping Trump to win reelection. Because, as we all know, Adam Schiff is the go-to guy in Congress for all things Russia-related.
But then, they went back to Schiff to let him know that the Russians are also helping Bernie Sanders to win in 2020.
A normal person might hear that and think that maybe the information is not… 100%… accurate? Russia wants Trump and Bernie to win in 2020? That seeming inconsistency must be because Vladimir Putin is just too devious of an evil genius for us normal people to understand.
Anyway, the CNN panel of “journalists” and “experts” then went on to explain exactly how Putin is meddling in our election. I’ll try to describe it for you in layman’s terms, because this was really high-brow analysis from everyone’s favorite news source.
According to CNN, Putin manipulates our elections through social media. He does this primarily through something called… “memes.” CNN then explained that these “memes” are pictures (images) that Putin superimposes text (words) on top of, in order to relay a message to the viewer of the “memes.” This combination of images and words at the same time is just too much for our weak American minds to comprehend.
Sometimes, CNN gasped, the text superimposed on images to create these “memes” is inaccurate or misleading. Sometimes the text on these “memes,” which can be freely passed around by people on social media, is humorous. The “memes” often make fun of elites and people in power, and that’s a really big problem according to CNN.
The issue, obviously, (according to CNN) is that American social media users and voters are doltish, humorless clods. You’re too dumb to understand the cunning, rapier-like wit of Vladimir Putin and his army of meme-makers who are meddling in the election. The Russians are well-known for their sense of humor (remember Yakov Smirnov?), but the Russkies are just too sophisticated for the deplorable idiots in America who are out there Twittering and Facebooking.
When you gaze upon one of these “memes,” which Putin personally creates in his volcano lair, CNN says that you can “fall for Putin’s narrative.” Once Putin has you under the control of his mind-beams from the memes, you feel compelled to vote for Donald Trump or Bernie Sanders (or both – at the same time!) because you’re too stupid to overcome Putin’s sophisticated meme powers.
It was a really intelligent analysis from CNN, but I was too busy drooling and staring at something shiny on the floor to follow all of it. That’s a good thing, because if I thought about the mainstream media’s Russian collusion narrative too hard, I might notice that posting memes on social media is very different from computer hacking. But whatever.
The two main takeaways from CNN were that A) Putin is manipulating us with his sophisticated memes of cats and Jeffrey Epstein’s non-suicide, and B) social media companies need to censor and stop Trump supporters from sharing memes that make fun of the elites.
If you take two steps back, you may have noticed that Russia is a poor, struggling country that really represents no sort of threat to us at all. Russia struggles to keep the power on year-round, so it’s kind of busy with other things besides launching sophisticated hacking attacks to “threaten our democracy.”
Russia has one aircraft carrier left and it broke down last fall. It had to be towed across the ocean to the nearest aircraft carrier repair shop. Then, when they were repairing it, a massive fire broke out on the ship. Maybe Russia isn’t quite as tech-savvy as CNN wants us to believe?
Meanwhile, the Trump campaign has just filed a massive libel lawsuit against the New York Times over the Russian collusion hoax. Here’s the headline that the New York Times is now getting sued over:
“The Real Trump-Russia Quid Pro Quo: The Campaign and the Kremlin had an overarching deal: help beat Hillary Clinton for a new pro-Russia foreign policy.”
That’s hilarious for three reasons. First, the NY Times ran that headline in late March of 2019, after the findings of the Mueller report had been released (which proved there was no Russian collusion). Second, because they were using the term “Quid Pro Quo” six months before the Ukraine hoax was launched. And third, because it is so blatantly libelous and untrue that the Trump campaign probably has a slam dunk in its lawsuit against the fake news rag.
Someone should make a meme about it!
