Stop us if you’ve heard this one before. Intelligence officials at the Pentagon summoned a bunch of reporters this week to give them a briefing on a serious threat to the 2024 election.
The completely honest intelligence community—which would never, ever lie to you because they love you so much—says that there is a dastardly foreign plot underway to meddle in the 2024 presidential election.
The forthright and courageous intel officials have let the media know that Russia is planning to do BAD THINGS.
What would we do without our totally unpredictable yet always reliable intelligence community? We haven’t been paying much attention to the news lately. Did something happen in the past few weeks that would make the Deep State nervous that Joe Biden won’t win reelection? (We’re kidding, obviously.)
According to the Deep State, the second-most evil villain in the history of the universe, Vladimir Putin (Hitler Times 20) is trying to skew the election in favor of the evilest villain in the history of the universe, Donald Trump (Hitler Times 50).
Don’t they have any original ideas over there at the Pentagon? It feels like we’re watching the 83rd consecutive Marvel movie at this point, after they’ve turned Captain America into a one-legged Hispanic lesbian who fights climate change. It’s time for some new material, guys!
Get this – the intel community says that Russia will be using covert social media posts to sway the election. These aren’t just your run-of-the-mill social media posts like all of us see every day. They’re COVERT social media posts that have the power to trick people into voting for Donald Trump.
Let’s see if we can guess what these covert social media posts will show. First guess: Cheap fake videos of Joe Biden wandering off in a lost daze until someone grabs him like a dog and reels him in.
Second guess: Cheap fake videos of Joe Biden pooping his pants, which Whoopi Goldberg says is fine because she does the same thing all the time.
Third guess: Cheap fake videos of Joe Biden standing there drooling with his mouth open while gazing into the distance like a moron because he has dementia.
How are we doing so far?
The intelligence community lied to the American people for years about the Russia collusion hoax that Hillary Clinton’s campaign cooked up as a dirty trick. They violated the civil rights of the Trump family by spying on them, using evidence that they knew was fake to obtain FISA warrants. They launched the fake Mueller special counsel investigation that consumed more years of Trump’s first term in office.
After all that effort and tens of millions of taxpayer dollars wasted on an investigation that could have been avoided if the intel community had just been honest, Mueller’s team of Hillary Clinton cheerleaders never found the two main ingredients for Russian collusion. You need to have some Russians, and you need to have some collusion. Neither one of those things ever existed.
In 2020, the intel community lied about Hunter Biden’s laptop. There were 51 “former intel officials” who knowingly signed their names to a false document claiming that the laptop had “all the hallmarks of a Russian operation.” They got social media companies to censor any reporting or even any mention of the laptop. The tech companies eagerly complied.
And of course, the laptop turned out to be 100% authentic. It had detailed information about the Biden Crime Family’s international bribery schemes with Ukraine, China, Kazakhstan, Romania, and even the dreaded Russia.
What the laptop really revealed was the intel community is a bunch of liars, the Bidens are a bunch of crooks, and we all wished that the iPhone couldn’t take such high-resolution videos. If we never see Hunter Biden’s ****hole again, it will still be too soon.
Pardon us if we don’t get too worried about “Russia” interfering in yet another election to try to “help” Donald Trump just because the intel community says so.
What this really signals is that the Deep State is in a panic because Joe Biden is crumbling into dust before our very eyes—but he’s probably healthy enough to make it to the election.
The fake criminal cases against Trump have all fallen apart. So, here comes the Deep State with another hoax.
We just wish that they had some original material because this movie is getting really old.
Russia is always planning “bad things” for us. That’s been going on for years. Unfortunately, we have a so-called president that might get us into a conflict with Russia.
Biden and Democrats as a whole are grotesque evil individuals
We ALL need to Vote For Donald J Trump for the 47th president November 5th or we will All be living in a COMMUNIST Country..Theses DEMO RATS are So EVIL … Let’s Save AMERICA
AGREE Totally
THIS BABE IS A COMPLETE JOKE. INSTEAD OF TELLING FACTS, SHE GOES OUT OF HER WAY TO TELL “NON FACTUAL”. MY FRIENDS AND I GET A GOOD LAUGH FROM HER ANTICS TO “PROTECT” THE WORST PHONY SO CALLED “PRESIDENT” THAT EVER STOLE AN ELECTION
After the FBI and DOJ have gone after parents who don’t want the racist CRT jammed down their kids’ throats, gone after the Catholic church (I’m a Protestant), and all the bull$*t charges against Trump, I’m supposed to believe ANOTHER RUSSIAN HOAX?
Biden, Harris & Jean – Pierre are a real clown show. And, sadly – the world is laughing hard