Be honest. A year ago, how many of us thought Trump would be the 2016 Republican frontrunner? We thought ‘The Donald’ entered the race merely to bring media attention to the Republican Party, and once achieved, would gracefully bow out in deference to the “real” candidate.
Instead, Trump’s campaign has stunned the political world. He has had more press coverage than all other Republican candidates combined.
The start of 2016 brings the first political caucuses (in February) to Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina, with some polls showing Trump with a commanding lead in all 3 states. Love him or hate him, Trump is a brand — a trifecta of determination, achievement, and strength, a man who knows what he wants and how to get it.
His message resonates with voters across all demographic boundaries because conservative Americans feel their way of life is under siege. His White House bid has motivated long-uninvolved “lost” voters to get involved and fix the chaos.
By himself, Trump is certainly a force to be reckoned with, but a Trump cabinet would be a Fantasy Football “Dream Team” like no other. Trump’s vast network of people that he will potentially bring to the White House is exciting to think about.
Here are our picks:
President: Trump is larger than life and super rich, with an estimated net worth of $4.5-10 billion. He is the richest man to ever run for president. Trump embodies everything that comes with living large: beautiful homes, private jets, glamorous wife. He is the Tom Brady of politics. We can clearly imagine him grandstanding in the end zone after a touchdown, without a hair out of place, because his hair is surely immune to “helmet head”.
Veep: The Vice Presidency is the ultimate Apprentice role. Who will it be? Cruz? Rubio? Jeb? It might even be Tom Brady. While the Patriots QB has not officially endorsed Trump, a “Make America Great Again” hat was spotted in Brady’s locker.
Treasury: Trump himself has already said he would appoint Carl Icahn, native New Yorker and one of the world’s richest men. Icahn is a fascinating and controversial figure with a reputation of shaking up companies and their CEOs to be more profitable. We are confident Icahn can turn our treasury troubles around.
Defense: One word — Ditka. Chicago Bears coaching legend Mike Ditka has endorsed Trump, and Trump loves Ditka. Who doesn’t? Ditka can do anything – fly an F-35, command an aircraft carrier, and lead troops on the ground. Ditka has been quoted as saying he wants to live to be 150 because “there are a few people I haven’t made mad yet; I want to get them.” It’s just what we need.
State: After years of the Hillary Clinton / John Kerry debacle, even Kanye West would make a better Secretary of State, but we’d rather see Rudy Guiliani in this role. This former Mayor of New York City and Associate Attorney General would bring his talent, charm, experience, knowledge and intellect to be the President’s principal advisor on foreign policy and international relations of the United States.
Interior: In this role, Sarah Palin would coordinate federal policy in American Samoa, Guam, the U.S. Virgin Islands, and other areas, which, for Sarah, is easy because she can see all of them from her house! Seriously, though, the Department of Interior (not Energy) regulates oil and gas development, and this Mama Grizzly can utilize her Alaska experience at a national level. Trump said, “[voters] like the Sarah Palin kind of strength; you just don’t see very much of it anymore.”
Energy: Either Charles or David Koch would do a fantastic job in this role. Their experience running Koch Industries, the second largest privately-owned U.S. company, will do nicely. We predict that the Keystone Pipeline will pass with flying colors within the first 30 days in office.
Health and Human Services: Brilliant neurosurgeon and Presidential candidate Ben Carson would be great at the helm of HHS. His common-sense approach would be key in embracing the nightmare that is Obamacare. Carson calls for replacing it “with something that really puts the power back in the hands of consumers and providers.”
Homeland Security: Arnold Schwarzenegger just replaced Trump as Celebrity Apprentice host, but NBC will have to find another replacement when Arnold takes over Homeland Security. Two words: “ISIS, beware”!
Veterans Affairs: Our pick is Navy veteran and former Governor of Minnesota, Jesse Ventura. He has the independent spirit necessary to fix the VA woes and properly support our veterans. And, he has openly lobbied Trump to be involved in his administration. VA administrators who lie to the American people will have to wrestle (literally) with Jesse. That should fix the VA in no time!
Who are your picks?
