The ship of fools that is lining up against President Trump for the 2020 election has been a hilarious joy to watch so far. Under their current identity politics structure, all the Democrats have to pretend to be the biggest victim of all time to obtain the highest score in the diversity Pokémon points Olympics.
Simultaneously, they are all Tonya Harding – smashing each other’s knee caps in a dark alley because none of them have a chance of winning on merit. Joe Biden thought he’d run a campaign on the old-school, folksy persona that he’s carefully crafted for decades in Washington. But now Joe’s on the concrete in that dark alley, curled up in a fetal position and crying.
If Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer hadn’t lost control and the Democrats were still able to pretend they were an occasionally-sane party, Joe Biden would be a fairly formidable opponent for Donald Trump. Biden is the ultimate swamp creature. He’s super-rich, a genuine one percenter. Not as rich as you-know-who! But still, he’s pretty rich compared to most people.
Which is kind of strange, considering that Biden has been a “public servant” since 1973. He must be really lucky at slots when he goes to Vegas. Don’t you dare think he’s a corrupt insider!
Biden is also a lot smarter than the dopey things that come out of his mouth could lead you to believe. He whipped Paul Ryan in the 2008 vice presidential debate – although that’s setting the bar pretty low. Another proof of Biden’s intelligence is that he didn’t run for president in 2016.
The media secretly hate Hillary Clinton and they desperately wanted to glom onto someone – anyone – else. It was only after Hillary had the nomination wrapped up and she was Donald Trump’s opponent that the media suddenly began a love affair with her in earnest. Before that, the press was actually trying to convince Biden to run. The White House press corps begged Joe Biden to run in 2016, because they hated Hillary so much.
But Biden was smart enough to tell them, “You guys don’t understand these people. The Clintons will try to destroy me.” Pause for a moment and consider the fact that the Vice President of the United States – the second-most-powerful person in the country – was terrified of Hillary Clinton. Yikes!
With Hillary Clinton currently pretending that she’s not running, Biden is running in 2020 and oh wait, no he’s not. Biden gets kneecapped in a dark alley by Bernie Sanders and it’s all over! Didn’t see that one comin’!
Joe Biden’s weird hair-sniffing fetish has finally caught up with him. If you needed further proof that the media loves Joe Biden, just look at all of the years that they have covered up his creepy predator behavior. It’s not like Biden has an “off” switch on his creepy creeping. He does it in plain sight and on camera. But the media has pretended not to see it for many, many years.
Biden’s typical MO is to creep up on a woman, teenage girl or small female child when they’re not looking, grab them from behind by the shoulders, arms or ribs, and then lean in to sniff their hair and kiss them on the back of the skull. It’s an incredibly passionate and erotic move if you do it to your own wife in the privacy of your home. But Biden does it to every woman in the room who is not his wife.
It’s creepy and borders on unwanted sexual touching, especially when he does it to very young girls or congressional wives who are standing right there with their husbands. When Biden says he supports “open borders,” he’s actually talking about your wife and daughters.
Lucy Flores is a former candidate for lieutenant governor in Nevada and a Democrat. Flores says that Biden pulled his signature creepy creep move on her last year, clutching her in his sweaty palms, sniffing her hair and kissing the back of her head. There’s an odd symmetry in this that we don’t see very often in political campaigns: This is obviously a hit job by a rival campaign (Flores worked for Bernie Sanders), but it also seems to be totally true. Even if Flores is lying, which she’s probably not, we’ve all seen Biden pull the same creepy creep move on dozens of other women and girls. He does this.
“I don’t think one incident like that should be disqualifying,” says Bernie Sanders in pious sanctimony. Hahahahahahaha! The crusty old socialist knows perfectly well that there are far more than one incident like this in Biden’s past. All Bernie needed to do was get one woman to accuse Biden of #MeToo violations and the internet would do the rest. Well played, Bernie. Well played.
Dick Harpootlian is a Democrat state senator from South Carolina and a big Joe Biden supporter. Coming to Biden’s attempted rescue, Harpootlian says that creepy creep Joe is a “hugger.” He’s from an older generation that’s very, very loving and likes to put its hands on you without your consent, just to show his love for you. So long as you don’t see it coming.
Harpootlian adds, “You shouldn’t read anything into it [Biden creeping on Ms. Flores] other than he was doing what he has done to me, to my daughter, to my wife, to Barack Obama.”
If you now have a mental image of Joe Biden passionately grabbing Barack Obama from behind, sniffing his hair and kissing him on the back of the head, you can thank Dick Harpootlian! Biden’s campaign manager is now frantically waving at Harpootlian and mouthing the words, “Please stop helping!”
(Total side note: Is the Deep State just messing with us now by making up crazy names for prominent Democrats? Dick Harpootlian? John Hickenlooper? Pete Buttigieg? Cory Booker? Those names all sound totally made up to me.)
And then there’s this, from US News & World Report: “Agents say that, whether at the vice president’s residence or at his home in Delaware, Biden has a habit of swimming in his pool nude. Female Secret Service agents find that offensive.”
*Sigh* It would have been so much fun to see Biden on a debate stage with Donald Trump. Alas, ‘twas not to be! Biden has been #MeToo’ed before his campaign even made it out of the starting blocks. Oh, well. There’s still a couple of dozen other kooks lined up to be the sacrificial lamb in the 2020 Trumpslide. We’ll have to settle for one of those.
