Bill Clinton Claims He Cheated on Hillary All Those Times as a Way to Manage His Anxieties

If you think back to the distant past, you might remember something about a White House intern, a blue dress and a lying president. The interns name was Monica Lewinsky. The blue dress was the evidence of the affair. And the liar in chief was President Bill Clinton.

We all recall the enormous gravity of the situation. The President cheated on his wife with a White House intern. His staff helped him hide their affair. He lied about it under oath—well that was the contention that brough about his impeachment. Did he or didn’t he lie under oath? And was impeaching a sitting President over an affair the right thing to do?

It turns out there’s a little more to the story that we never knew. Bill Clinton has recently made some new remarks on his old presidential galavanting. As you can reasonably suspect, it’s not good for him. He would probably do well to never speak publicly again.

Here are a few reminders you might need regarding the old scandal. First is that Clinton was originally investigated for rape charges. A lot of people forget this, but Paula Jones originally claimed that she had evidence of rape. The media downplayed it as sexual harassment.

In the midst of the investigation, the only thing that was definitively proved was that Clinton had an affair with Lewinsky. While the president having an affair with an intern is the embodiment of unethical, it’s not currently illegal (nor was it at the time). Instead, Clinton really got in trouble because he lied about the affair under oath. He committed perjury, and he did it on tape. This fact was the leading impeachment charge that he faced.

All these years later, Bill Clinton has finally decided to clear the air. Granted, he’s doing it in a Hulu series for a bunch of money, but that’s better left for another time. The point is that he offered the ultimate explanation for the entire scandal. He cheated on his wife . . . drumroll . . . for stress relief.

That’s really it. This scumbag threw the nation into turmoil because sex with an underling was a way to take his mind off of his anxieties.

Well then. There’s nothing to see here. Everything is forgiven. Why didn’t he say so in the first place?

Let’s cut the sarcasm for a minute. This is truly despicable. We wouldn’t tolerate this excuse from any man, much less the president of the United States. The weakness, nay the pathetic nature of this excuse should garner national attention. Our entire country should come together as one to condemn Bill Clinton for his terrible actions. It’s the one time radical feminists and traditional conservatives should be able to agree on something.

Instead, the media is ignoring this as best they can. Rather than highlight something awful regarding the Clintons, they’re trying to convince Americans that President Trump is responsible for the spread of coronavirus. They’re criticizing him for mobilizing the CDC, pushing billions in emergency funds through Congress and tightening the border.

You don’t need to be told how stupid this all is. You just need a chance to hear and read the truth, and today, that truth is that Bill Clinton is every bit the pile of garbage you always thought he was.